Ep19 - Mr. Miyagi Sex Blackbelt & Gopher the Scientologist?

Announcer [00:00:01]:

This is crime cruise, love boat exposed. The podcast

Love Boat Clip [00:00:15]:

boat be ashamed

Announcer [00:00:16]:

of. When laws,

Producer Caleb [00:00:18]:

morals, and behaviors go rogue.

Love Boat Clip [00:00:20]:

She's a student of marine biology, and I know a Lot of marines would like to study her biology.

Announcer [00:00:26]:

We are there.

Love Boat Clip [00:00:28]:

Saturday on the love boat, Julia's game to join an all male club, but she's shocked at the things they asked her to do.

Announcer [00:00:33]:

Now from studio 109, welcome aboard.

Charlotte [00:00:38]:

I think it's time you and I

Love Boat Clip [00:00:40]:

got to

Charlotte [00:00:41]:

know each A man. It's

Love Boat Clip [00:00:43]:

very lonely

Rob [00:00:44]:

at sea.

Charlotte [00:00:46]:

Yes. I can imagine.

Rob [00:00:48]:

Woah. Hell, yes. Season 1 of The Love Boat. We are closing it down with the final episode, episode 25. This is crime crew's love boat exposed. I am your host, Rob Springer, along with another host

Charlotte [00:01:06]:

Charlotte Jones.

Rob [00:01:07]:

And out on assignment is producer Caleb. How are you out there, producer Caleb?

Producer Caleb [00:01:11]:

I'm excited that we're getting this done. Final episode.

Charlotte [00:01:15]:

Let's see it.

Rob [00:01:16]:

Man, we've come a long way, haven't we? Just looking back at the year, in fact, we'll have a highlight show, the best moments. If we look back, producer Caleb, At season 1 because we're go we're 24 episodes in, and after this, we'll be at the 25th episode Of love boat season 1. What's your takeaway?

Producer Caleb [00:01:35]:

Dang. That is a loaded quest.

Charlotte [00:01:36]:

It is a loaded quest.

Rob [00:01:38]:

Think about it. We'll come back

Charlotte [00:01:39]:

after asking loaded questions.

Rob [00:01:41]:

We do like asking you.

Charlotte [00:01:41]:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Producer Caleb [00:01:42]:

We really do.

Rob [00:01:43]:

I will ask you that again at the end of the show. It's an appropriate question, I hope.

Charlotte [00:01:47]:

Okay.

Producer Caleb [00:01:47]:

You know? It is an appropriate

Charlotte [00:01:48]:

So what are we gonna do right now?

Rob [00:01:50]:

Well, we're We're gonna roll into this clip. I see up on my screen. I'm just gonna roll. Alright? Producer Kaleb, anything we need to know?

Producer Caleb [00:01:57]:

We see an affair, And we see a communist.

Charlotte [00:02:02]:

Like, actual communism or, like, what people are trying to say it is today? Like, was he actual just I just want to clear

Producer Caleb [00:02:10]:

on that.

Charlotte [00:02:11]:

Okay. At least I got you a new ad campaign for the ship line. He thought I would be bored fight if I came along. You know, he'll be working, you mate. And you bought that. I'll tell you. I wouldn't let Who is Hermann?

Producer Caleb [00:02:34]:

That is the old lady's husband, but I I will mention, Hermann doesn't say one thing this whole episode. He was 500%

Charlotte [00:02:42]:

just Silent the whole time.

Producer Caleb [00:02:44]:

Staring at that group of young ladies, not saying a word, like, 2 inches close to them. Like, he was just Breathing deep down that x.

Charlotte [00:02:53]:

His SAT contract must have not allowed him to say it correctly.

Producer Caleb [00:02:55]:

He probably said way too much just off the book stuff.

Charlotte [00:02:58]:

I have known a few Hermans in my life, and one I really like, but the rest of them, not so much. It's a terrible name.

Producer Caleb [00:03:05]:

Just like Kaleb's with Kays, k

Rob [00:03:07]:

a l e b's. That's with

Producer Caleb [00:03:09]:

case. 100%. Oh my god. Seas. We're we're unified group. That's they're actually a Facebook group.

Charlotte [00:03:14]:

Get out of here.

Producer Caleb [00:03:15]:

I'm like I'm gonna have to find it right now, but it's like the Caleb Club or something like that, and it's just just a bunch of just Caelubs, honestly.

Charlotte [00:03:22]:

What I can understand is why people always misspell my name. It's a city. And I always have people spell it char olette, char char char olette. Like, they always put, like, extra r's and o's and l's and e's, and I'm like, dude, just look Like, literally, it's not that far away.

Producer Caleb [00:03:38]:

Alright. I've got the group. It's called the Council of Calebs. Council

Rob [00:03:42]:

of Calebs. Jesus.

Producer Caleb [00:03:44]:

1,000 500 members in it.

Charlotte [00:03:46]:

Are you part of it? COCs.

Producer Caleb [00:03:48]:

I I am part of it. Yes. I know. And the whole thing is we just we're all unified. We don't talk Politics, religion, there's no info.

Charlotte [00:03:54]:

Love that.

Producer Caleb [00:03:55]:

But one thing that we all agree on is that Caleb's with Ks suck.

Charlotte [00:03:58]:

They do.

Rob [00:03:58]:

Could you sign me up? Or send me an invite?

Charlotte [00:04:00]:

I will send you a link.

Producer Caleb [00:04:02]:

You guys you won't get accepted because you have to be called Caleb. We appreciate the support from the outside group.

Charlotte [00:04:07]:

Okay. Okay. What if I said I'm friends with a Caleb with a c?

Producer Caleb [00:04:12]:

Can't cut it, unfortunately.

Rob [00:04:14]:

Rejection all around. Thanks, Caleb.

Producer Caleb [00:04:17]:

I don't make the rules. Sorry.

Love Boat Clip [00:04:18]:

It's

Charlotte [00:04:18]:

It's okay. Supreme Caleb does. Do that. Sky. Supreme, galeb.

Rob [00:04:23]:

3. 21.

Love Boat Clip [00:04:25]:

Oh, he will like your ship. Mitsubishi. Ship is made of steel From Yamashiro Steel Company, largest in, Orient. Also hat and, wristwatch. Shaving lotion, swinging samurai? Well, if there is something you need that you don't already make, let me now. Enjoy your cruise. Thank you.

Charlotte [00:04:49]:

1st of all, I would wanna be on a cruise with mister Miyagi any day of the week. I would feel so safe. Like, my life is protected. Literally, you're okay. Wax on wax off. Like, all the things.

Rob [00:04:59]:

A zen state all around.

Charlotte [00:05:01]:

A zen state all the time.

Rob [00:05:03]:

Well, this is good to see mister Miyagi come back for this final episode of season 1 because he was in another episode Here was season

Charlotte [00:05:10]:

1 now. A robber or a painter or something.

Rob [00:05:13]:

Yeah. He was playing someone that was pretending to be a painter.

Charlotte [00:05:16]:

Right.

Rob [00:05:17]:

And they really screwed up the captain's cabin when they couldn't do it right, and it was a weak role. It wasn't good to see him in that role.

Charlotte [00:05:25]:

Right. But it was kind of interesting because he did make Daniel san paint that freaking fence, remember, in his house?

Rob [00:05:30]:

Actually, right.

Charlotte [00:05:31]:

So I'm just kinda funny that he was a painter.

Rob [00:05:33]:

Well, I like to see him come back with a vengeance.

Producer Caleb [00:05:36]:

Oh, yeah.

Charlotte [00:05:36]:

I do too. And it's souped even.

Rob [00:05:38]:

Oh, good god. I love that man.

Charlotte [00:05:40]:

I do too.

Rob [00:05:41]:

Alright. Well, here we go. Scene.

Love Boat Clip [00:05:44]:

What's up? They get, rode on the show. Show on the road, sir. Davis, you lift your button.

Producer Caleb [00:05:53]:

This episode unfortunately took the Asian stereotype

Love Boat Clip [00:05:57]:

Yes.

Charlotte [00:05:57]:

I did.

Producer Caleb [00:05:58]:

To mister Miyagi, which is why, like, that first was there too because, oh, you make everything and we you earn everything. Oh, like, okay. Like, Asians make everything is a huge stereotype. And then now It's sad to see you, but I'm glad he's back.

Rob [00:06:11]:

Oh, you're right. That is a stereotype that Asians make everything. It's not the worst, but the worst was just the screw ups of the language that, unfortunately, Pat Morita himself seemed to be participating in. I would have hoped he put his foot down and said, hey. Look.

Charlotte [00:06:25]:

We don't need to make he have.

Rob [00:06:27]:

Alright, guys. Here he goes.

Charlotte [00:06:28]:

Ruth is recently widowed and not in to date, but I, on the other hand, am recently divorced and into dating heavily.

Love Boat Clip [00:06:35]:

Eve, you're in luck. I'm also recently divorced.

Charlotte [00:06:38]:

Oh my god. Yes. That you date heavily too.

Love Boat Clip [00:06:40]:

Uh-huh. That's why I'm recently divorced.

Charlotte [00:06:44]:

I never knew the doc had been married. Did you guys

Announcer [00:06:46]:

know that?

Producer Caleb [00:06:47]:

I think it's a lie. I think it's a lie. I think he just said that because because it's the doc. Who knows? Who knows his evil, Filthy intentions, but his line was like, I'm recently divorced because I, like, date around or I sleep around. Something along those lines. Like

Rob [00:07:01]:

At this point of the season, the doc is spinning out of control. He's ready to hop into a bed with a woman. He's plucked out of Bad domestic situation. She's not expecting it. He gets socked in that last episode, knocked out. Was beautiful. That was a beautiful moment.

Charlotte [00:07:18]:

Must be good. He's also we, like, have seen him hold his shit together for 25 episodes, and now he is literally losing it. Like, he is fucking ravel.

Rob [00:07:26]:

You know, it started in episode 1 for sure, but in the last few episodes He handles that he handles. When he brought the nurse in, where Where he's like, I screwed over Pacific Prince's line. I got my former showgirl

Charlotte [00:07:38]:

who wants to be a nurse. Was spiral started right there.

Rob [00:07:41]:

It went heavy and It's thin and out of control.

Charlotte [00:07:44]:

Out of control. He's out of control.

Producer Caleb [00:07:46]:

Needs to contain this horn dog.

Charlotte [00:07:47]:

Horn dog.

Rob [00:07:48]:

Alright, guys.

Charlotte [00:07:50]:

Pot. Demon that was still a term. Mister what you call it? Of all people.

Love Boat Clip [00:07:54]:

Missus Newman, what a surprise. Of course, you remember mister Yamashiro.

Charlotte [00:07:58]:

Of course. You're the one who's going to buy the United States.

Love Boat Clip [00:08:03]:

Yeah. Suppose I start to buy buying you a drink, poison your name. What?

Charlotte [00:08:09]:

No. Thank you. You know, I have a funny feeling that our being on the same cruise is not a a total accident.

Love Boat Clip [00:08:17]:

What makes you say that?

Charlotte [00:08:19]:

Because my instincts are very good, and your acting is lousy.

Love Boat Clip [00:08:30]:

5th. Getting her to sell isn't going to be easy. But I didn't use the brain. Butt. See, Davis, this woman not interested in big jinx, so maybe use a little sex. It says, why you think I park. You here. I heard you have a black belt in hanky panky.

Charlotte [00:08:48]:

What? Jesus. I didn't know they gave out black belts for that.

Rob [00:08:52]:

I don't think they do.

Charlotte [00:08:53]:

If they did, I'd have 4. 4.

Rob [00:08:57]:

It's hard to keep up with what was happening in that scene.

Charlotte [00:08:59]:

It's very hard to keep up with that.

Rob [00:09:02]:

Well, the assistant to mister Miyagi is an actor named Gary Collins, and I know he used to host shows like PM Magazine, these sorta local shows in different markets, and he's just this sorta cheesy host dude. And I guess he experimented with being an actor Here and there as I looked down through his, IMDB Saved by the Bell.

Charlotte [00:09:25]:

Oh, get out of here Saved by the Bell. Friends. Saved by the bell, though. To go back to that. Drama. And Greg, Saved by the Bell, friends. He literally did all the shows.

Rob [00:09:34]:

General Hospital. But here's the thing. He's only done, like, 1 episode of each of shows.

Charlotte [00:09:38]:

Wow.

Rob [00:09:39]:

And I should know I've been very similarly

Charlotte [00:09:41]:

Cast.

Rob [00:09:42]:

Cast as, single roles and sometimes in a couple of episodes.

Charlotte [00:09:46]:

But it's okay. You still get your residual checks?

Rob [00:09:48]:

I do. I do.

Charlotte [00:09:49]:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Rob [00:09:50]:

No. The rate of those residuals has plunged, and I do not blame the SAG actors for wanting more.

Charlotte [00:09:57]:

I would not either.

Rob [00:09:59]:

What about you, producer Caleb? How do you feel about the topic? Alright. Never mind.

Producer Caleb [00:10:05]:

I yeah.

Charlotte [00:10:07]:

He's not on he's not on the he's not on the SAG after

Rob [00:10:10]:

show you 5th I'm cutting all

Love Boat Clip [00:10:11]:

of this

Charlotte [00:10:12]:

shit around. No. You're not gonna cut any of this stuff out. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Producer Caleb [00:10:15]:

Let's go. Would say that it it shocked me to see Mister Miyagi just talk about sex?

Charlotte [00:10:21]:

I know. It's a little disturbing. It it threw me from you. Like, you're not supposed thing about him is someone that has sex, but I'm sure mister Miyagi had lots of sex.

Producer Caleb [00:10:30]:

I and then I was, like, on the floor, like, pissing myself he was like, until you have a black duck and hanky panky.

Love Boat Clip [00:10:36]:

Hey. Oh,

Charlotte [00:10:36]:

yes. A black belt and hanky panky. I think

Producer Caleb [00:10:38]:

that was possible. Serious.

Charlotte [00:10:40]:

I'm gonna get my doctorate in hanky panky. Watch

Rob [00:10:44]:

On that note, let's just take a commercial break.

Announcer [00:10:48]:

We'll be right back with more Love Boat post. Go to loveboatexposed.com to send us a message. Leave a voice mail, or learn more about the show and Dower team. Who knows? You might just be invited to the captain's table.

Rob [00:11:03]:

It's

Love Boat Clip [00:11:03]:

a pleasure to welcome you aboard. I'm speaking for my entire crew.

Rob [00:11:10]:

God bless captain Merrell Stubing. You know, he's dead now.

Charlotte [00:11:13]:

That's terrible.

Rob [00:11:14]:

Gavin MacLeod, Great actor. He was doing some great acting. That 1 episode, producer Caleb producer Caleb, you were on special assignment during, an episode 2 weeks ago. So fight. Charlotte and I held down the fort, and it was probably the best acted, the most well acted love boat that we've seen all this season, and part of the Acting was with Gavin MacLeod, and he was in scenes with 1 Leslie.

Charlotte [00:11:42]:

Nielsen. You're right. Lesnar Nielsen. That was one of the best acted shows that we've seen so far.

Rob [00:11:47]:

Favorite actor of yours?

Charlotte [00:11:48]:

One of my fave for sure.

Rob [00:11:49]:

He's fantastic.

Charlotte [00:11:50]:

Because he's so all over the place. Yeah. All over the board.

Rob [00:11:53]:

Yeah. Who knew he had a comedic backbone?

Charlotte [00:11:56]:

Well, like, he's so genius to make that happen. Do

Love Boat Clip [00:11:59]:

Do you

Charlotte [00:11:59]:

know what I mean?

Rob [00:11:59]:

I do agree.

Charlotte [00:12:00]:

Yeah. Like, the Zucker brothers. Right? It was the Zucker brothers?

Rob [00:12:02]:

Yeah. At

Charlotte [00:12:03]:

Airplane. Yeah. But did such a great job, like, casting him. And then, like, the whole Priscilla Presley and the body condoms, It's so good. Naked Gun is just so good.

Rob [00:12:10]:

Have you seen any of those, producer Caleb?

Producer Caleb [00:12:13]:

No. But I've been needing to see, like, Airplane and other

Charlotte [00:12:15]:

We need to see the Naked Guns too.

Love Boat Clip [00:12:17]:

We need

Charlotte [00:12:17]:

to see all that stuff.

Rob [00:12:18]:

I mean, there's a movie like Airplane that we can sit here and watch sometimes.

Charlotte [00:12:22]:

Oh god. We could tear that apart for, like, 15 episodes.

Rob [00:12:25]:

You can as they say so, so 5th. These days. You can't make a movie like that these days.

Charlotte [00:12:30]:

Cannot make a movie like Airplane these days, though. There's no way.

Rob [00:12:33]:

But it was great in its time.

Charlotte [00:12:34]:

You couldn't even make freaking Gilligan's Island. You couldn't even make that show anymore.

Rob [00:12:38]:

You couldn't.

Love Boat Clip [00:12:40]:

Next, to our romantic groom.

Charlotte [00:12:43]:

To our 1st drink together, Not from room service. Really? Really? Look who it is. It's me. I could Die.

Love Boat Clip [00:12:54]:

I could die too.

Charlotte [00:12:55]:

Oh, no. Surprise. It's me, Cora, and Herman from the apartment building.

Love Boat Clip [00:13:01]:

Cora and Herman from the apartment building. What a coincidence. Terrific. We'll see you around the ship.

Charlotte [00:13:07]:

I don't believe we know your lady friend.

Love Boat Clip [00:13:10]:

She's no lady friend. Pot.

Charlotte [00:13:12]:

Wait. What?

Love Boat Clip [00:13:13]:

She's a lady, but she's no friend.

Charlotte [00:13:15]:

Wait. What? This meant.

Love Boat Clip [00:13:17]:

This is Cora and Herbin from the apartment building, and I'm Lee Graham. Pot.

Charlotte [00:13:22]:

And I'm Andrea Martin. So nice to meet you. We saw Lorraine on the pier.

Love Boat Clip [00:13:28]:

Lorraine?

Charlotte [00:13:29]:

Yes. Lorraine, your wife. Oh, Andrea. You should meet his wife. Oh, salt of the earth, that woman.

Love Boat Clip [00:13:38]:

Lorraine couldn't come. This trip is strictly business.

Rob [00:13:43]:

Wolf is right. Producer Caleb, he just wolfed. Is that right?

Producer Caleb [00:13:50]:

He is my one of my animals.

Charlotte [00:13:53]:

I love animals.

Rob [00:13:53]:

Awesome, man.

Charlotte [00:13:54]:

And let's talk about another animal. Let's talk about all the animals on that ship Because they are all so what is he talking about? She's just if if any dude that I was sitting at a bar with and I was on a cruise with you, and you bought me a drink and just cheered me and just said, oh, she's not a lady. She's just she's not even a I would have thrown that drink in your face, and I woulda walked my awesome ass up and walked back to my own cabin and locked the door. Pot. Right. And put a chair up against it so your dead ass can't come inside.

Rob [00:14:29]:

And they were just enjoying, like, days in bed too.

Charlotte [00:14:32]:

So

Rob [00:14:34]:

Weird, man. I'm going to add some levity to something we just saw. Levity. Wow. We need levity.

Charlotte [00:14:39]:

Alright. Or for a rhevity or whatever.

Producer Caleb [00:14:43]:

Bus. Let's see if

Rob [00:14:44]:

we can love it. It's Levitt.

Producer Caleb [00:14:45]:

Loving it.

Rob [00:14:46]:

The gentleman in that scene was 1 Antonio Vargas.

Charlotte [00:14:51]:

Okay.

Rob [00:14:52]:

And he was in Starsky and Hutch, a show I used to watch all the time. It was a great show, and he played Huggie Bear. Who was a pimp? I love

Charlotte [00:15:03]:

a pimp.

Rob [00:15:04]:

But he was also there. He was a police informant.

Charlotte [00:15:07]:

Oh, fine.

Rob [00:15:08]:

So Starsky and Hutch were always going to Huggie Bear, and he was obviously, he was like a street smart dude. He had the slang. He was badass, and he was the one to go to for information. And he helped solve a lot of crimes for Starsky and Hutch.

Charlotte [00:15:23]:

Dude, it's hard out there for a pimp. Pot. And it's lion.

Rob [00:15:25]:

They say that. Yeah. Yeah. You heard that?

Charlotte [00:15:27]:

Yeah. I've heard that in movies.

Rob [00:15:31]:

Producer Caleb

Charlotte [00:15:32]:

hustle and flow. Remember?

Rob [00:15:33]:

5. Is it hard out there for a pimp producer, Caleb?

Producer Caleb [00:15:36]:

Yes. Out in the west? Absolutely. Yes.

Charlotte [00:15:39]:

Yes. It is. It's hard out there for a pimp.

Producer Caleb [00:15:41]:

We we need to We need to stick to stick together.

Charlotte [00:15:44]:

There needs to be a pimp coalition or a pimp union. Is there a pimp union they can strike?

Producer Caleb [00:15:50]:

I'll start 1. I'll get 1 started.

Rob [00:15:53]:

Knowing producer Caleb, there's probably a pimp Facebook group.

Charlotte [00:15:56]:

Oh, there probably is. But only if your name but only if you spell it correctly with p I m p.

Producer Caleb [00:16:01]:

I think you're a true pimp.

Charlotte [00:16:02]:

Don't leave your true pimp.

Rob [00:16:05]:

God bless the pimps.

Charlotte [00:16:06]:

God bless the pimps.

Love Boat Clip [00:16:08]:

Yeah. Pot. I thought we'd spend our 1st night out more romantically, so I ordered dinner in.

Charlotte [00:16:17]:

What you mean is you don't want Chore to see us together again. Right?

Love Boat Clip [00:16:20]:

Well, you saw that woman. She'd like nothing better than to tell Lorraine that I'm having an affair.

Charlotte [00:16:24]:

Well, maybe it would be Better if she found out, then you'd have to make up your mind whether you're gonna divorce your wife or not.

Love Boat Clip [00:16:29]:

Well, I'm gonna divorce her, but the news needs to come from me. Look. Look. Let's just forget about that. Tonight, it's just us.

Charlotte [00:16:40]:

Uh-huh.

Producer Caleb [00:16:44]:

We've seen this how many times on this

Charlotte [00:16:46]:

show? How many times have we seen this? Dude, if you just want a divorce, just get a divorce. Right. It's literally so easy.

Rob [00:16:58]:

Caleb, do you have any stories that you can relate from your wife?

Charlotte [00:17:01]:

Lots of stories. He's been in so many situations.

Love Boat Clip [00:17:04]:

That's why

Rob [00:17:05]:

I asked.

Charlotte [00:17:05]:

I know.

Rob [00:17:06]:

I like his stories.

Charlotte [00:17:07]:

I know. They're good stories.

Rob [00:17:08]:

Mhmm. With a housemother perhaps from

Charlotte [00:17:11]:

from France? Was nude on the beach

Rob [00:17:12]:

with them?

Producer Caleb [00:17:13]:

Quiet. Actually, yes. Yes. Actually. Oh, no. So as we were driving, reference to last episode, as we're driving to the nude beach, My mother my host mother has, like, Apple Play on her car, and I see a text message from, from a man who was not my host dad.

Love Boat Clip [00:17:30]:

Oh my god.

Producer Caleb [00:17:32]:

And as she, like, listens to it, it says, which means kiss.

Charlotte [00:17:35]:

Of course it is.

Producer Caleb [00:17:36]:

So I go, okay. Well, well, they're French, so maybe, you know, you know, lots of French people love to kiss, you know. So it's not a great kiss, but but something inside was like, she's cheating on On my host's dad. So so I after the beach and after I was traumatized and I had finally, like, moved on from that Nightman. Bleached my eyeballs from the nude beach. I went on to Facebook, and I found this guy who said kisses to my host mom. Nothing suspicious. You know, she was commenting on his post.

Producer Caleb [00:18:07]:

He was commenting on her post, but my host dad was nowhere to be seen. So I just kinda brushed it off. Well, I get back from France. It's about a year later, and I feel, like, this impression to, like, reach out to them and thank them for letting me stay at the house, all that stuff. My host dad's account is nowhere to be seen. He has gone MIA completely off off the page, off off the world, really. He's disappeared. My host mom, on the other hand, She announces she's pregnant.

Charlotte [00:18:33]:

Oh. So

Producer Caleb [00:18:33]:

I say, oh, congratulations. And on further inspection, it was the man Who said, kisses that one time at the beach.

Charlotte [00:18:43]:

Well, those kisses turn into a lot more if she's pregnant.

Producer Caleb [00:18:46]:

Wow. They now have 3 kids and they're married to each other, pot. And my hairstyle has been nowhere to be seen.

Charlotte [00:18:52]:

Have you is this a Dateline episode? Like, up there, it gets you like, is he in the backyard? Did this open on?

Producer Caleb [00:19:02]:

He was in the army, and he was a, a fireman and a chef. So knows? It it I this case is unsolved.

Charlotte [00:19:11]:

Oh gosh. I feel like we need to do another podcast. Crime one.

Rob [00:19:16]:

Little Dent producer, Caleb know that he was snapping into.

Charlotte [00:19:19]:

What, Denis? Thank you. We'll get Lester Holt on this tomorrow. Lester Holt and Keith Morrison. We'll just get them both together.

Rob [00:19:27]:

Okay. Keith Morrison. He's got a voice that is fair.

Charlotte [00:19:30]:

You know that Keith Morrison is Matthew Perry's step

Producer Caleb [00:19:34]:

Really?

Charlotte [00:19:35]:

Yeah. From Friends.

Rob [00:19:36]:

Okay. I gotta think about that for a little while now.

Charlotte [00:19:38]:

Just just, you know, useless trivia to knowledge.

Rob [00:19:41]:

Alright, guys. Well, I have to tell you, I have this instinct Yeah? That if I'm feeling it, I know producer Caleb's got a story about it.

Charlotte [00:19:50]:

Okay. I like that.

Rob [00:19:51]:

See, he just got these things chambered.

Charlotte [00:19:53]:

He does. Chambered up inside of him. We're like therapy. This is like therapy too.

Rob [00:19:57]:

You know, the man has lived a life. I'll always say that.

Charlotte [00:19:59]:

He has lived a life for a 21 year old. 21, 22, 20 20.

Producer Caleb [00:20:03]:

21. 21. Okay. My friends call it Caleb Law because sometimes I'll just drop the most random, shocking, outlandish story which happened and is 100% true.

Charlotte [00:20:13]:

I love that. And Caleb all was a sea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Caleb all was a sea.

Producer Caleb [00:20:18]:

Rob, you said you had a, a question for me, a potential potential Caleb story.

Charlotte [00:20:23]:

Oh, I think you just answered it with your, French mom getting pregnant by her lover.

Rob [00:20:28]:

I mean, that wasn't the answer to my question. I don't know what is.

Charlotte [00:20:32]:

I think you answered it very well, Kaela.

Rob [00:20:34]:

Leveled the playing field.

Producer Caleb [00:20:35]:

You leveled that.

Charlotte [00:20:36]:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Rob [00:20:38]:

Notice how he waits till Episode, 25 of the buff

Love Boat Clip [00:20:43]:

boats. I

Producer Caleb [00:20:44]:

know. It's Caleb Law right there.

Charlotte [00:20:45]:

Caleb Law with a sink.

Rob [00:20:46]:

That's gonna be a new segment. Yeah. Caleb's Law.

Charlotte [00:20:50]:

We should do sec we should do commercials for that.

Love Boat Clip [00:20:52]:

Hold on.

Rob [00:20:52]:

Let's try this out. I'm gonna leave a pause after I say this. And now, Caleb's Law.

Producer Caleb [00:20:59]:

Perfect. I skydived when I was 19.

Charlotte [00:21:02]:

There we go. Caleb's off. Got it. Okay. You always threatened me to realize I had to join the personhood.

Producer Caleb [00:21:09]:

Yeah. With your what?

Charlotte [00:21:10]:

The personhood. It's a movement. We believe that nobody should lead and and nobody should follow. We are all equal persons.

Producer Caleb [00:21:19]:

Well, you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen.

Charlotte [00:21:23]:

Only a beautiful person would say that.

Love Boat Clip [00:21:25]:

Oh, thank you. Dover? Hello? Oh, boy. Incredible kind of an I'll see you on

Charlotte [00:21:33]:

that. Yes, sir.

Love Boat Clip [00:21:35]:

Golpu, I hate to tell you this, but, Vanessa's father was concerned that you're Leading his daughter astray. Well, that's impossible, sir, because there are no leaders and there are no followers. I don't follow you. Exactly, sir. You understand? I don't understand. Look. I passed the message on. The rest is up to you.

Love Boat Clip [00:21:51]:

Do you follow me? I can't, sir. There are no followers to this.

Charlotte [00:21:53]:

You know your captain is a fascist.

Producer Caleb [00:21:55]:

He certainly

Charlotte [00:21:56]:

Ordering you not to see me. Okay. So now we have somebody that's obviously involved with Jones down. He was gonna go to Guyana Yes. And hang out with Jim Jones. You know, we have a cultist on the ship because they apparently just allow anyone to come on.

Rob [00:22:14]:

What's your takeaway here, Caleb?

Producer Caleb [00:22:16]:

I was surprised that they got political. I mean, there's it was, like, a one line, and I had to build it up to to get there, but I'm, like, I'm surprised that they took pot.

Charlotte [00:22:23]:

I am too. I'm surprised that they threw out, like, terms that, like I I don't know if people even know what those terms mean because 5 because they use them all the time, and they make no sense. Yeah. Like, people in the terms that they use them and make no sense. But, like, this was what's going on here? Are are we about to lose gopher to, like, a Scientology situation?

Producer Caleb [00:22:42]:

That's what I'm saying.

Rob [00:22:44]:

Do they leave us hanging? And they we only have 1 more scene to look at.

Producer Caleb [00:22:48]:

I'll fill it in. I don't think I revealed what happens

Rob [00:22:51]:

Okay. Tom.

Producer Caleb [00:22:52]:

Spiritland. Alright.

Rob [00:22:53]:

I'll I'll

Producer Caleb [00:22:53]:

fill you guys in.

Rob [00:22:54]:

But in my mind, Gopher could be a Marxist or going to Jamestown, like

Charlotte [00:22:58]:

Or one other other anything. Right. Or, like, any of the other places in the seventies.

Rob [00:23:02]:

By the way

Charlotte [00:23:03]:

There was, like, Children of God. There was Scientology. There was Jones Sound. There was, I mean There was a lot

Love Boat Clip [00:23:08]:

of things.

Charlotte [00:23:08]:

A lot of things. There was a lot of things. There was that crazy group out in California with, like, Charles Manson. Yes. Of 5th.

Producer Caleb [00:23:15]:

Ted Bundy.

Love Boat Clip [00:23:16]:

Yeah. His

Producer Caleb [00:23:16]:

his fellow. He was crazy.

Charlotte [00:23:19]:

Who wasn't even that cute? I get so mad when

Love Boat Clip [00:23:22]:

people are like 3.

Charlotte [00:23:23]:

He was so attracted. No wonder he got all girls. Like, no. He wasn't.

Rob [00:23:27]:

My vote for the most interesting of those kinda cult, like, some of the boys that, We're waiting for Helly's Comet to come through.

Charlotte [00:23:34]:

Oh, that that was heaven's gate people.

Rob [00:23:36]:

Yes. Heaven's gate.

Charlotte [00:23:37]:

Yeah. Yeah. And they were black Nikes.

Rob [00:23:38]:

Crazy bunch of stuff.

Charlotte [00:23:39]:

Yeah. Yeah. They all shaved their heads, black Nikes, all the things.

Rob [00:23:42]:

Let me lighten that up with a little bit of information.

Producer Caleb [00:23:45]:

Lighten us up, please.

Charlotte [00:23:46]:

Lighten us up, please.

Rob [00:23:47]:

The lady, the cultist The cultist. The gal in the cult was from The Brady Bunch.

Charlotte [00:23:54]:

Get out of here.

Rob [00:23:55]:

You know who she was, do you?

Charlotte [00:23:56]:

No. Who was that?

Rob [00:23:57]:

Well, it wasn't Marsha. Marsha was in that little Patty.

Charlotte [00:23:59]:

It wasn't Jan.

Rob [00:24:01]:

It was Jan. It was? That was Eve Plumb.

Charlotte [00:24:03]:

Get out of here. She was

Rob [00:24:05]:

actually a pretty good looking lady, And she was kind of the nerd in the Brady Bunch.

Charlotte [00:24:09]:

She was the nerd in the Brady Bunch. I feel like they made her look, like, worse because in here, she looks really good. Like, I never would've thought that was Jan.

Rob [00:24:17]:

Well, she went through a real awkward phase.

Charlotte [00:24:19]:

Well, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. Everyone

Rob [00:24:21]:

did. But in the end, she kinda caught up With Marsha Brady.

Charlotte [00:24:26]:

Okay. Well, then they

Rob [00:24:27]:

Marie McCormick.

Charlotte [00:24:28]:

Yeah. Marie McCormick.

Rob [00:24:29]:

Alright. And then the

Charlotte [00:24:30]:

other to Cindy, though. No one ever talks about her.

Rob [00:24:32]:

She's a mess.

Charlotte [00:24:33]:

Oh, bus.

Rob [00:24:34]:

Like Bobby, the 2 of

Charlotte [00:24:35]:

them. Jeez.

Rob [00:24:36]:

The runs of the litter, they just fell apart.

Charlotte [00:24:38]:

Don't think you can say that.

Rob [00:24:41]:

I I think

Love Boat Clip [00:24:42]:

that's cool you can say that. You you can say that.

Charlotte [00:24:44]:

Okay. Alright.

Rob [00:24:44]:

Here's the other part. I know. I know. But look. Here's the other thing. I gotta tell you one of my favorite verbalizations in season 1 Comes from captain Marril Steubing, and it's when he says golfer. He just does a golfer. He just he Love saying he rebels in saying it.

Producer Caleb [00:25:01]:

Yeah. This episode, they do highlight that, and, Gopher has a, Like a bid with the others, that if capital, captain says, like, go for, like, 20 times, they owe $50.

Charlotte [00:25:13]:

Oh, like a like a shot challenge.

Producer Caleb [00:25:15]:

Yeah. I got, like, a he's just, like, so tired of the captain just pushing him around. So he's like, you're not fun.

Love Boat Clip [00:25:21]:

Let's just

Producer Caleb [00:25:21]:

do a bet. Let's let's let's see if it's, like, I'm actually just making it up with the time feature.

Charlotte [00:25:25]:

I like that. Okay.

Rob [00:25:26]:

There was an earlier episode. I know. We're gonna play the last clip, but I gotta tell you this is my favorite statement of all time in this season 1 from The captain again was Yes. Gopher? You're fired.

Charlotte [00:25:37]:

Gopher? You're fired, which he wasn't ever.

Rob [00:25:39]:

I we cut away. We never showed what happened. We said, will he be back? And, obviously, Gopher was. Thursday is back. I don't know what had a change

Charlotte [00:25:46]:

of charts

Rob [00:25:47]:

fire everybody

Charlotte [00:25:48]:

or keyhole everyone.

Rob [00:25:51]:

We're bookending the keyhole, Harvey.

Charlotte [00:25:53]:

We're booking the keyhole.

Rob [00:25:55]:

Alright. Here's the last clip.

Charlotte [00:25:59]:

When I thought about this cruise, fun. And I dreamed about a night like this with the ocean, the breeze, and the stars, And us kissing. We never thought it'd be a goodbye kiss. Working on your campaign, mister Graham? Oh, okay. Nice. Don't look, Carmen.

Rob [00:26:36]:

Well, that was the final scene.

Charlotte [00:26:37]:

That is what I do believe you describe On paper and in a dictionary as a busybody.

Rob [00:26:43]:

Oh, the older lady I was going to say.

Producer Caleb [00:26:45]:

I was

Rob [00:26:45]:

trying to figure the right terms.

Charlotte [00:26:46]:

That's just what you describe as a busybody. Like, she looked like one. Like, if you went into the dictionary and wanted to look up the photograph of a busybody, her picture would be right there, and she won't even allow her husband to talk.

Rob [00:26:57]:

Very unlikable.

Producer Caleb [00:26:59]:

Yeah. She was very annoying this episode. It was it was pretty tough because she was, like, hip to hip with

Charlotte [00:27:06]:

I suppose he was.

Producer Caleb [00:27:07]:

With the gentleman. She was, like, hip to hip with him. Well And just would not leave him alone, and he was like, I'm trying to make out with my affair. I'm trying to, like Maybe she has a little pop up. I'm trying to do this, but, Yeah. The the annoying old lady was like,

Charlotte [00:27:18]:

oh, hey.

Rob [00:27:22]:

Well, I must say this. Yes. It's been a long road.

Charlotte [00:27:26]:

It's been a long ride here, but we got here.

Rob [00:27:27]:

Raucous road.

Charlotte [00:27:28]:

It's been a rompous.

Producer Caleb [00:27:30]:

Would you like to hear about the cult? The cultist I

Charlotte [00:27:32]:

would like to know what happens.

Producer Caleb [00:27:33]:

Story unfolds? Well, Gertha gets fully convinced in her beliefs, and she was like, you should stand up to to the captain. And he was like, but he he's the captain. What should we do? She's like, you guys can all run the ship, all of you guys, equally. 1 person, 1 vote. It's all

Charlotte [00:27:51]:

fight. Oh my god. Scientology, they are on

Producer Caleb [00:27:52]:

a ship too. Guys are controlling it together, and and Gopher stands up to the captain, and he actually does get fired.

Charlotte [00:27:59]:

Fight. Oh, wow.

Producer Caleb [00:28:00]:

He gets kicked out, but at the very, very end, she apologizes to the captain. He apologizes to the captain. Finally make up, and then the episode ends. Oh, wow. Rehired. Okay.

Rob [00:28:12]:

I'm glad to hear it went that way. I mean, the

Producer Caleb [00:28:14]:

fans does worried. Is it the last episode of the season and Gopher Gets Fight? I was like,

Charlotte [00:28:19]:

No. We hate 1 to season 2 without Gopher.

Producer Caleb [00:28:21]:

I mean That's just what I was thinking, but No. I'm grateful that he was brought back of the very end.

Charlotte [00:28:26]:

I'm gonna add that to my gratitude list.

Rob [00:28:29]:

And, you know, people, this has been a fiery journey.

Charlotte [00:28:31]:

A fiery journey. Thank you all for listening

Rob [00:28:33]:

so much. Seen

Charlotte [00:28:35]:

Everything.

Rob [00:28:36]:

Priests with young people

Charlotte [00:28:39]:

Yeah. Adoptions murder. Kidnapping Murder. We've seen Chimps.

Rob [00:28:43]:

Almost murder. We've seen

Producer Caleb [00:28:44]:

rogue animals. Yeah?

Charlotte [00:28:45]:

Yeah. Rogue animals.

Producer Caleb [00:28:46]:

Stowaways. Let's Stowaways.

Rob [00:28:48]:

Not forget stowaways.

Charlotte [00:28:49]:

Yep. Dirty doctors. Young children stowaways. Playmates. All the things.

Producer Caleb [00:28:53]:

Pot. Prostitutes.

Rob [00:28:54]:

Yep. Horrible cases of gonorrhea ripping through the boats.

Charlotte [00:28:58]:

Ripping through the boat. It's

Rob [00:29:00]:

been ugly sometimes, and you know what? There's been times when it's been enlightening.

Charlotte [00:29:04]:

It has. They are. I would size out.

Rob [00:29:07]:

I think we walk away having learned something from

Love Boat Clip [00:29:10]:

Here you do.

Charlotte [00:29:10]:

I have 1.

Rob [00:29:11]:

Season 1 of The fight Love Boat, and, you know, the cannon's about to be pointed in your direction. Producer Caleb, what have you learned on this journey?

Producer Caleb [00:29:20]:

What have I learned? Well, I've learned that cheating is bad.

Charlotte [00:29:25]:

Okay.

Producer Caleb [00:29:26]:

That communication is good. Yep. I've learned that The doc is a horrible person, and he will never be liked. Never ever. I don't care if there's a redemption arc in season 4. I will still hate his ass, And the love boat will throw in the most wildest things ever that is very unforeseen, and I'm excited to see what other crazy shenanigans in Tom they're through in the next seasons.

Charlotte [00:29:51]:

Rob, I think your job and mine as adult elders to Caleb Have has officially been complete because he has learned a lot this season. I feel like we've done a really good job in educating him And getting him, like, to his next stage in life.

Producer Caleb [00:30:08]:

I agree for adulthood now.

Charlotte [00:30:10]:

Thank you. Thank god.

Rob [00:30:11]:

I think we've seen a boy become a man.

Charlotte [00:30:14]:

I do too. 100%. You're a real boy now.

Rob [00:30:18]:

And as the voice as the man said, We have a lot more to witness in the upcoming seasons. Have you learned anything yourself? Because you're already a worldly and learned person.

Charlotte [00:30:30]:

Emma? Yes. No. I feel like I learn every day, but I definitely watch this on the daily and realize what Stuff I would not put up with.

Rob [00:30:40]:

That's great. That's really actually pretty helpful. Yeah. And I've learned that

Charlotte [00:30:44]:

as a lot, by the way.

Rob [00:30:46]:

I've learned that as we look through the magnifying glass backwards into the seventies and even the eighties, we are able to dissect perhaps our own selves Good. As you've said more or less.

Charlotte [00:31:01]:

And Which is not always easy.

Rob [00:31:02]:

Caleb has said. So, yes, we've all learned something.

Charlotte [00:31:05]:

We've all learned something.

Rob [00:31:06]:

Let's hope the audience has too. Yep. And lastly, we know there is a whole Lot more to learn, and we're gonna learn it.

Charlotte [00:31:14]:

Oh, there's, like, 28 season. We're ready to go.

Love Boat Clip [00:31:17]:

Well, this is my boat. Go for it. You're fine.

Rob [00:31:21]:

And on that note I'm

Producer Caleb [00:31:22]:

ready for this hell hole. I'm ready for

Charlotte [00:31:24]:

this Caleb. What's the scene?

Announcer [00:31:26]:

We're sailing away, but we will be back with a new episode of crime crew, love boat exposed. Make sure to subscribe. We're on all all your favorite podcast platforms, and connect with us at loveboatexposed.com.

Love Boat Clip [00:31:41]:

Ladies and gentlemen, it's been a pleasure, but I have duties on the bridge. Good evening.